My name is Kaushik. I am from India, 20 years old, and I study mechanical engineering at the University of Manchester.
Speaking! It seems like such an easy thing to do. Most people don’t think twice about their speech. But for people who stammer, it’s different. Every second of every conversation, we are planning our words, hesitating, and struggling. From a young age, I faced difficulties with speech that I didn’t fully understand. It wasn’t until I was around 11 years old that I realized these weren’t just random issues but a persistent problem. My journey with speech challenges began earlier, though. In Year 3, I frequently visited a hospital with my parents, where I now realize I was seeing a speech therapist. While my parents discussed things with the therapist, I played with toys, oblivious to the true purpose of these visits. I thought these moments were special privileges, not therapy sessions.
Another significant memory is from a visit to our local GP with my mother, where I learned that I had trouble with words beginning with “S.” Later, as we were walking home, my mother said, “I think you have a problem with all the letters, not just ‘S,’” but I was in denial, unwilling to accept the full extent of my speech difficulties. Throughout my childhood, various people, like my tennis coach and school teachers, would tell me to relax and slow down my speech. People at school would comment on why I spoke the way I did. But I never fully understood what they meant—I saw no problem. Throughout my school years, I was made fun of many times. People mocked me, imitated me, and said things like, “Why do you talk like that?” When they said all this, I just kept quiet. I didn’t know what to say. It was just something I had to deal with, and I had no explanation for the problem.
I remember in Year 8, we would read aloud pages in class. I would count the number of people in front of me and try to figure out which paragraph I had to read. Then, I would practice reading it in a soft whisper before my turn arrived. But, as you can guess, that didn’t help at all! I was planning my words and stumbling, which only brought mimicking and laughter from my classmates. I remember one time in India, I was on the bus to school. There were some students a year younger than me sitting in front of me. They suddenly decided they were going to give nicknames to everyone around them. I was curious as to what they would say for me. When they got to my name, they paused for a few seconds and said “Hakla,” which in Hindi means someone who stammers. And though I didn’t show it, I was crying inside. Another incident I remember was when I was playing badminton with a few friends. We got into a little argument about whether the shuttlecock was in or out. During this, my opponent said, “First, learn how to speak, and then say something.” I just walked away silently. I cried that night.
There have been many of these humiliating incidents where I felt so depressed. I prayed for fluency. I prayed, but nothing changed. From ages 13 to 15, I went to speech therapy a few times. But they didn’t know what they were doing. They meant well, I agree, but they hadn’t lived the life we had. They would never be able to understand our struggles. They all gave more or less the same advice: Focus on breathing, speak slowly, elongate your words, think before you speak. As you can imagine, this didn’t help. As the years passed, I grew increasingly frustrated with the lack of progress and eventually stopped seeking professional help, disillusioned by the repeated failures. Instead, I turned to the internet, hoping for a “miracle cure” from videos and forums, yet nothing seemed to work effectively.
But I eventually reached a breaking point in my life. This was in May 2024. I just wasn’t happy anymore. I was in my second year of university, and I felt I had missed out on so many opportunities and had so few interactions with people because of my debilitating habit. I cried because it was just too hard. I couldn’t say what I wanted to say, and I was desperate to find a solution. After a while of scouring the internet, I found a Reddit post where someone asked how to beat stuttering. Someone had commented that they should read Lee Lovett’s book How to Stop Stuttering and Love Speaking. Several others had replied, saying that the book had been really helpful to them.
I found the book on Amazon, and after learning more about Lee and his experience, I felt confident and decided to buy the Kindle version. I thought it was a small price to pay for the promise of a happy life. As I read the first few pages of the book, I was instantly hooked. I could finally relate to the stuttering situations I had experienced, and none of the books I had read on this topic before had forged such a connection. On the first day, I read about 100 pages—I couldn’t stop. I just wanted to devour all the wisdom and knowledge written on these sacred pages. After finishing the book, I scheduled a consultation call with Danny. I thought I knew how to use the crutches, but by talking to him on that call, I realized I had been going about it all wrong. I took his suggestion and downloaded the StopStutter app. And I haven’t looked back since.
I’ve watched almost a hundred coaching videos, each one giving valuable advice. Each one felt like my own personal coaching session as I practiced the methods while listening. The crutch practice sessions were a game-changer. They were the only place where I was able to receive feedback on my speech and engage with others facing similar struggles. I was determined to be disciplined with the “One-Two-Three Punch” method emphasized in the program, and I embraced each part of it—especially the mind training. I said the affirmations every day. I said them before an interview I had last month. They made me so confident going in. A few days later, the hiring manager told me I got the job.
I owe my success to Lee Lovett. He is a remarkable human being. He has done so much, and he continues to help and guide so many people to overcome their stuttering. Thank you, Coach Lee—you are truly a blessing in my life. And thank you to the entire WSSA community, and all the coaches who give sessions on a daily basis. You are doing a wonderful and selfless job. I could not be more grateful for your support. As I embark on the next part of my journey, defeating fear, I will continue using the “One-Two-Three Punch!”
Kaushik, India, December 2024